He is an endless ocean, a bottomless sea...

though you slay me
i will trust you
though offended
i will cling to you

'cause i want to
be a witness
of your power
and your goodness

"Outlaw" by Mark Mathis

Brush hair, drink coffee, and be thankful.

Inspired by today's letters  and  One thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp I am attempting to pay a bit more attention and acknowledge things around me, and be thankful. Em (from today's letters) writes simple short "love letters" to things, days, people from her week. For me it's a way to remember the good things, when they are always so easily forgotten. There is so much good and beauty in the world, and a lot of times we are only reminded of the sad and bitter parts. Just a way to soften my heart.

dear husband, thank you for taking the car early and filling it up with gas before i had to work... it was a delightful surprise and got my Monday off to a good start, for cleaning the kitchen when i neglected it for days, and surprise planting me colorful daisies. You are so sweet and i love you more than gummy sweet tarts (and thats a whole lot!) dear monday, your warmth (that i was not expecting) the spontaneous cookout with friends and dogs, it makes me happy to be with friends! dear day off, not just coffee, dog park, finishing my spy thriller book, and the chance to clean my bathrooms, I NEEDED YOU! dear rooftop, that breeze, that view, those spaghetti and meatballs, doesn't get much better on a sunday, thanks M&K Perez for hosting. 

Dear desperate, unhappy, or frustrated self.

Sometimes our bitterness our day to day numbness, our desire for "the other side of the fence" makes us forget who we are. We use comparisons...and let it steal our joy. We focus on our unhappiness and forget to serve. We need daily reminders that change, forward motion and happiness starts in us. We are the only one who we can persuade. The crazy cycle we may be drowning in is a science, there is a way out. And it starts with ourselves. A few moments alone can help me remember where I left my inspiration, my silliness my motivation for REAL life. Where exactly my heart began to callus. Where the blisters on my soul began to form. There is beauty in brokenness. Respect is found when we are humble. And we become satisfied when we take a moment to notice... And stop being so desperate.

I don't want the monotony of my days to be the thief of my ambition, the death to my spirit, or the facade to what is really going on inside this heart of mine.

I want to remember. Always remember, who I am in Him, that His grace is enough. Hope is rising, he brings me joy in the morning's newness, and today I can choose which path i will take.

I am thankful for this choice.

These blessings.