seastation

Friday, April 26, 2013

He is an endless ocean, a bottomless sea...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

though you slay me
i will trust you
though offended
i will cling to you

'cause i want to
be a witness
of your power
and your goodness

"Outlaw" by Mark Mathis

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Brush hair, drink coffee, and be thankful.

Inspired by today's letters and One thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp I am attempting to pay a bit more attention and acknowledge things around me, and be thankful. Em (from today's letters) writes simple short "love letters" to things, days, people from her week. For me it's a way to remember the good things, when they are always so easily forgotten. There is so much good and beauty in the world, and a lot of times we are only reminded of the sad and bitter parts. Just a way to soften my heart.

dear husband, thank you for taking the car early and filling it up with gas before i had to work... it was a delightful surprise and got my Monday off to a good start, for cleaning the kitchen when i neglected it for days, and surprise planting me colorful daisies. You are so sweet and i love you more than gummy sweet tarts (and thats a whole lot!) dear monday, your warmth (that i was not expecting) the spontaneous cookout with friends and dogs, it makes me happy to be with friends! dear day off, not just coffee, dog park, finishing my spy thriller book, and the chance to clean my bathrooms, I NEEDED YOU! dear rooftop, that breeze, that view, those spaghetti and meatballs, doesn't get much better on a sunday, thanks M&K Perez for hosting.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Dear desperate, unhappy, or frustrated self.

Sometimes our bitterness our day to day numbness, our desire for "the other side of the fence" makes us forget who we are. We use comparisons...and let it steal our joy. We focus on our unhappiness and forget to serve. We need daily reminders that change, forward motion and happiness starts in us. We are the only one who we can persuade. The crazy cycle we may be drowning in is a science, there is a way out. And it starts with ourselves. A few moments alone can help me remember where I left my inspiration, my silliness my motivation for REAL life. Where exactly my heart began to callus. Where the blisters on my soul began to form. There is beauty in brokenness. Respect is found when we are humble. And we become satisfied when we take a moment to notice... And stop being so desperate.

I don't want the monotony of my days to be the thief of my ambition, the death to my spirit, or the facade to what is really going on inside this heart of mine.

I want to remember. Always remember, who I am in Him, that His grace is enough. Hope is rising, he brings me joy in the morning's newness, and today I can choose which path i will take.

I am thankful for this choice.

These blessings.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Grown up conversations.

I've never ever had that feeling "oh i feel so old"

probably in my whole life.

I have 2 older sisters,

I've never had many friends "my own age"

i married up (almost 5 years)

and at a young age.
(all these things account for me ALWAYS ALWAYS being the youngest around)
(i barely made it in the '80's guys)

So lately when i catch myself talking about Insurance rates, taxes, mutual funds and IRA's,

i realize.... I'm not so "little" anymore.

While discussing our "future" the year 2054 came up and then it hit me...OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel more grown up than i ever have before.

today.

its kinda like on your birthday when your dad or someone asks... 'well do you feel older??'

and usually im like nooooo.

today i do.

Also by even having this conversation (with myself .. bc thats what i feel like my blog is, conversations with myself haha) i think it made me not so grown up.

hah

oh well.